bye-bye 2020

I'm writing this in the waning hours of 2020, a year that I think all of us agree we're happy to see out.

There has been so much negative in this past 12 months, capped off (personally) by losing Soleil suddenly and horribly just one month ago. We had a subdued Christmas, and tears were shed; I honestly think I'd been reining back the grief in order to concentrate on work, and when I stopped to breathe on Christmas day, it came roaring to the surface. 

We did not lose any family members to the virus, however we did lose some dear friends, and many others were collateral damage - while they did not die of Covid, other illnesses took their life or severely threatened or degraded it, simply because of the lack of access to care. 

Work has become a source of stress for me; Christmas day was the first day that I did not work, weekends included, since March, I think. When you're self-employed, it can be feast or famine, and it's really hard to set boundaries or say no, for fear of losing a client. So you just buckle down and soldier through it. The trouble is, that can become a self-perpetuating cycle, because if you do meet ridiculous standards, then customers come to take them for granted. Round, round we go...

In taking stock of the year from hell, there are however some bright points, personally. Still on the topic of work, it's been a lucrative year, and I've finally managed to catch up on my taxes and even begin setting money aside for plans in view of a possible move. Even though the Boston Marathon was postponed and then cancelled, I ran four and a half thousand kilometres this year, and that helped to keep me sane. Again, indirectly thanks to covid, which brought far more people (and traffic) than usual to our area, I finally ventured off the asphalt and onto the side roads, and it has been a wonderful year for savouring the calm and quiet of the forest and the lakes. Because I was not training, I ran entirely for the sake and the joy of running, of being outside, and of escaping from work for ''me time''. 

Tim got sent home from work in mid-March, and he has been here basically full-time since then. Again, something to thank covid for. Prior to this year, I'd only see him on the weekends, and I would worry so much about his travels between the city and here every week, all year round. We're truly a little family now, and I don't want to give that up.

Speaking of family, we adopted Nutmeg in February, and she has been a crackle of energy and mischief, full of love and fun. She bonded wonderfully with both dogs, and she is firmly established as Arwen's sidekick and best friend. I cannot thank Lila enough for entrusting her to us. 

I have also managed to be quite faithful to my promise to myself to stop work, no matter how busy or backlogged I am, at 19:00, and spend the rest of the evening making art. I received several commissions by word of mouth; I also donated work to four different auctions, and my pieces all attracted multiple bids and sold for good prices. I'm much more confident and bold as an artist than I was a year ago. I am still writing as well. In 2021 I intend to publish a volume of poems married with drawings or paintings. The poems are ready; I just have to decide which way to go with the art, and that's an exciting way to begin the new year.

Finally, having summed up the personal perspective on 2020, I'd like to speak to a more collective positive takeaway that we could all celebrate. If nothing else, 2020 had taught us to practice gratitude, and to not take things so much for granted. We've found creative ways to reach out and care for one another: even if it can't be in person, it's still meaningful, and it's what makes us all human. 

Onward.