When you lose a dog, it doesn't just affect you. It has a profound effect on the other dog(s) in the household. There have been many ways, subtle and not so subtle, in which the dynamic has changed between Arwen and Nutmeg, now that Soleil is gone. I didn't realize until the aftermath that Soleil was the de facto leader. These dogs are all so gentle and good natured that trying to identify an alpha is intrinsically difficult. As I have said before, one of the compelling reasons to take on a third dog was to dilute or attenuate the very strong imprint Arwen had made on Soleil, because we knew that Soleil would not be around forever, and her loss would be catastrophic for Arwen.
Nutmeg certainly stepped up to the plate, and she and Arwen have a great friendship, albeit very different from the bond shared by Soleil and Arwen. They play and roughhouse daily, and they choose to be together when they are sleeping.
I've noticed as well that Arwen seems to have taken on the role of mentor or supervisor. Nutmeg is a mischievous dog, and I know when she is up to something because Arwen has a very overt way of coming and ''tattling'' on her. When it's something really bad, she doesn't tattle...she decamps.
I've also noticed that when we're at the park, as the snow has deepened, Arwen has begun showing a preference for not fetching her ball, but rather for simply trotting around, carrying it. This concerned me; in December, Nutmeg had cannoned into her and split her lip when they both went for a ball at the same time. I worried she might be fearful because of that. Also, Arwen will soon be eight, and maybe she was slowing down? Yet she was still happy to buzz around while carrying her ball. I was puzzled at the change in behaviour.
Over the last couple of weeks it finally dawned on me that something very particular was going on. While Nutmeg is getting better at fetching, she frequently outruns the ball I throw for her, and she's just so damn happy about running at full tilt that she loses her concentration. The snow is deep, and the ball disappears easily, not to be found until spring.
Observing Arwen, I discovered that she has appointed herself to the role of spotter, and if Nutmeg misses the ball, Arwen will very deliberately go to where she watched it drop, and paw at the snow to show Nutmeg, who has picked up on this cue and now uses Arwen as a beacon to find her lost ball. Arwen makes no effort to steal or keep the ball; she steps aside and lets Nutmeg do the rooting around and the finding and the fetching. Then she canters back behind Nutmeg so that we can do another round. She's like a self-appointed big sister.
I know there are many people out there who scoff at the idea that animals are capable of reason or compassion, but the dogs I've had in my life continue to teach me otherwise.