It's certainly been a week, above and beyond the way events played out Tuesday evening into Wednesday morning, and the ensuing sense of anxiousness and despair. Tuesday evening, I watched a couple of friendships implode in real time, on social media, and I am sure that many more disintegrated similarly, beyond my personal circle. Some of my own are in tatters, perhaps irreparably. I've seen people's true colours and been repulsed. I've personally reached a point where I've lost a lot of respect and trust in people (generally as well as specifically), in the media, in what we presume to call the system, what we define as progress.
More than anything, however, I'm frustrated with myself. I tried to practice and even at times preach tolerance, in my tentative, squeaky voice, and yet I find myself feeling eminently intolerant at the moment. Intolerant of constant arguing. Intolerant of intractability. Intolerant of mockery and belittlement. Intolerant of propagation of half truths and misquotes. Intolerant of intolerance itself. I know that's both tautological and contradictory, but it's the vicious circle of the reality that we live and breathe at the moment, wherever we are on the planet.
The US election results were far less shocking, far less disappointing or traumatic if you will, than the acrimony at the personal, human level. That phenomenon may well be the true disaster of our time, because that's the base that everything else is built on.
Probably the most eloquent comment I saw all week came from someone half a world away, whose first language is not English. One of my friends teaches in China, and in a conversation on social media, several of his current and former students expressed their concerns about going to the States to study. As if right on cue, an Ugly American voice stepped in and accused these students of feeling entitled to an education in the West ''...we don't need anymore [sic] students who feel they are owed anything.'' The student's response included the simple phrase All people, regardless of where they come from, are one people. Yes, regardless of where they come from - geographically, culturally, racially, politically, ethnically, socially - we're all in this together, and all the hate in the world can't change that.
If you think this world is warped, look in the mirror, and you'll find both the cause and the cure.
“I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.”
― Kahlil Gibran



...before the dawn.

“...eventually tides will be the only calendar you believe in…
And someone’s face, whom you love, will be as a star
Both intimate and ultimate,
And you will be heart-shaken and respectful.
And you will hear the air itself, like a beloved, whisper
Oh let me, for a while longer, enter the two
Beautiful bodies of your lungs...
Look, and look again.
This world is not just a little thrill for your eyes.
It’s more than bones.
It’s more than the delicate wrist with its personal pulse.
It’s more than the beating of a single heart.
It’s praising.
It’s giving until the giving feels like receiving.
You have a life- just imagine that!
You have this day, and maybe another, and maybe
Still another…
And I have become the child of the clouds, and of hope.
I have become the friend of the enemy, whoever that is.
I have become older and, cherishing what I have learned,
I have become younger.
And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know?
Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world. ”
-mary oliver, Evidence

...for all of the kind words yesterday, and for the donations to Step Sisters.
Today has been a travel day, and a catch-up-on-missed work-day, and a launder-stinky-running-clothes day. In other words, busy doesn't even begin to describe it.
Happily, while my muscles are a bit achy and stiff, this is the best I have felt post-any-marathon-I've-ever-done, or just about. I could almost have gone for a short run this morning (I didn't).
Instead, I went for a hike with my mother and my niece and our collective total of four intricately and multiply related Labradors...they are cousins and aunts and sisters and mothers and daughters of one another. I'm not even going to try to explain. They're related, that's simple enough.
And how close to heaven is a sunny morning, a kid, four dogs and a tennis ball?
When we got back to the jeep, Aidee was fascinated by the crank handle for the car window. She was all excited about trying this strange analog device.
I felt old.





So today I went out and ran 42.2 kilometres.
Backstory: ten weeks ago, I went to Québec City and ran the marathon there, in hopes of qualifying for Boston 2017 in time to register in mid-September (the race sells out; there is no ''window of opportunity'' other than one week in September). I did run a time that qualified me for Boston, but the last 10 km of the race were a disaster, and I spent several weeks after that trying to figure out and recover from a tenacious shin injury that left me nearly unable to even walk.
About 4 weeks after the race, the pain disappeared almost overnight.
After Quebec, I had a long, hard look at my training and diet, and decided that the current approach was not working. Quebec was the fourth or fifth in a series of marathon disappointments, including a Did not Start this past April at Boston, because of a stress fracture. I don't often give much credence to motivational quotes, but an opportune pearl of wisdom came through recently from Marc Remy, via Runner's World magazine: My advice when it comes to speedwork: Go get it done. You might as well choose the kind of suffering that makes you faster. That became my mantra. I also cut down drastically on my protein intake and went to a mix of healthy carbs and quality proteins, and stripped off nearly 10 pounds in this past 10 weeks. I decided also that marathon training cycles would be less arduous if I maintained one long run per week all year round, so that the typical 13 week training cycle would not be such a shock to the system. So I extended my long runs after Quebec, and as I got faster, I began to consider trying another marathon this fall, entirely as a training run, to see if what had happened at Quebec would replicate itself.
Enter the Road2Hope Hamilton Marathon. I grew up in Burlington, next door to Hamilton, and Hamilton is where Tim lived when I met him. A lot of very cool people I know live and work in Hamilton and the surrounding area. I have run the city's legendary Around the Bay 30 km many times. And the Runner's Den in Hamilton has for years been my go-to store for stocking up on running gear and fuel. They organize the Road2Hope marathon, which raises a significant amount of money for aid work in Haiti. It's small as marathons go, and ever so friendly. It also (justifiably) bills itself as the Number one Boston qualifying race in Canada, largely thanks to a 10km descent along the Red Hill Parkway. This was another reason why I wanted to run the race - not so much the fast, Boston-qualifying aspect, but the big-ass downhill, since the descent in Quebec was what did me in.
The only wild card was the weather. November in Canada can be ugly, and over the years this race has seen wind, sleet, snow, rain, you name it.
The other (personal) wild card, was broken ribs at the beginning of October. That certainly threw a wrench into training for a while.
Well, the weather couldn't have been better: 12 celsius, bright sunshine, and very little wind. The start line is at a park with an indoor arena where you can stay warm until minutes before start time.
Interesting sidebar: when I did go out to join the group at the start line, I was wearing a throwaway sweatshirt, an old piece that I didn't mind parting with - I keep these specifically for times like this, waiting at marathon start lines. Before I shed and jettisoned it (races collect up all these clothes and donate them to charity), I heard ''Muskoka'' (that was emblazoned on the front of my shirt). I turned to see a woman about my age, and said ''are you from there?'' She replied that she was from Parry Sound, and that she was there to run the half marathon. I said I was from Rosseau. Response : ''are you the woman who was at Boston when the bombs went off?''. Yep, that's my claim to fame.
The Road2Hope race does 21 km on top of the escarpment, then descends the Red Hill parkway. At 30km, you are very near the finish line...there is an out and back loop that adds the additional 12km. I decided that if I felt done in at 30km, I'd just take my bib off and walk to the race end point and take a DNF.
But I felt OK at 30k. And I was passing people.
At 31k, Dan Pauls, the son of the race organizers and the manager of the Runner's Den where I shop, was standing at a corner and he yelled my name and cheered. That was a huge boost and a deciding factor to stay the course.
I started the mental math. Even at 6 or 7 minutes per kilometre, over the distance that remained, I'd still have another BQ in the bag. And as the kilometre markers ticked by, I did more math and began to focus on a possible finish time. As each kilometre came and went, that time goal became more real and more ambitious.
At 36km, I was catching up on a girl who was clearly flagging - I'd had her in my sights all the way down the Red Hill, from 23 km onward. Someone at the side of the path shouted ''way to go, 31st and 32nd female''. That gave me a real boost as well, and I left her behind. I passed more people. I felt good. What a concept.
Between 40 and 41 km, my left hamstring, usually so well-behaved (as opposed to the gnarly right one), mounted a revolt and began to seize up. I actually said aloud No you fucking don't. Not with 1500 metres to go.
I passed another girl 200 metres from the finish. I ended up 27th female overall.
Redemption, finally.
I cannot say enough good things about this marathon. It is hands down the prettiest marathon course I have ever run. The first 20km are all on rural roads, and for several kilometres you run along a ridge with a vast view down to the blue expanse of Lake Ontario, with the Toronto skyline just visible in the far distance.
They close a major expressway, the Red Hill, so that runners can use it for the winding, scenic descent into the city. Then we picked up the Red Hill Trail for a few kilometres, and that sheltered gravel path was heaven for the legs after all that asphalt and concrete.
The last 12 km are largely right along the shore of Lake Ontario, on the waterfront trail. The blue, blue water and the gentle side breeze were a lovely distraction. There were lots of enthusiastic Hamiltonians, including several running clubs and high school groups, all along the way, offering welcome words of encouragement.
If you've read this far, congratulations, and thank you.
I also want to mention that the main impetus to complete this race came all the way from Australia. For the last couple of years, I have been mentoring and coaching someone, not professionally but as a friend. She has lost 40 or so kilograms, and has been training to do the Eureka Tower climb next weekend. She's created a team called the Step Sisters, and she and a close friend are going to complete the climb, and they have so far raised over $6700 AUD for Interplast, an organization that offers specialized medical care and surgery for underprivileged children. Barb and Deb have generously given me the title of honorary Step Sister. I am so proud of what they have accomplished in their fitness and their fundraising. And that's the main reason why I wanted to finish this marathon today and finish well. Though I can't physically be in Australia to do the climb, this little effort today was my way of going balls to the wall just like they have, and will, next weekend. If anyone would like to contribute to the fundraising, it's ongoing, and both the team and myself can be sponsored. I don't often ask for money, but this is such a great cause...it's for the kids. Even a couple of bucks helps.
Thank you for all of the kind comments on facebook. This is me, post-race, with the Step Sisters shirt on. And a rare, big smile. Don't get used to it :-)
