First of all...As I did for a post last week, I want to reiterate that this blog is my own little space on the Internet, and only a tiny handful of people know or care that it exists. This allows me to express my thoughts and creations as a true journal, one in which -besides posting a daily photo or group of photos -  I can at times expose my inner self and inscribe my deep, personal reflections. This is one such occasion. These are simply my own thoughts and reactions and aren't intended to be doctrinal or persuasive. I'm writing as if assuming nobody will read it.

Secondly, to put this in context, an eminent Hollywood producer, Harvey Weinstein, was recently exposed for many years of egregious sexual misconduct toward a long laundry list of female celebrities who until just now felt too frightened for their own careers to come forward with their secrets and accusations. After the ensuing sh*tstorm in the media, a hashtag was born #me too. Women were asked to share this hashtag on social media if they had ever been assaulted, abused or harassed. The idea was that the various social networks would be flooded with this hashtag, and it would stand as a testament of defiance and solidarity.

A friend of mine who has long been an advocate for equal rights for all, and for reparations in the face of past iniquities, wrote a long treatise praising the #me too hashtag and the women in his circles who shared it, commenting that he was shocked by the sheer number of women who joined in. 

I felt a response simmering within me, and I pushed down the urge to reply, instead going out for a run and later, for a dog walk. However, during those two intervals away from the computer, I found that my mind, rather than letting go of the angst, built up instead a conversation about it, and at that point I determined that the only way to feel some peace would be to say my piece. So here it is...

I’ve had fingers hovering over the keyboard several times, then thought the better of it and stopped. I’ve returned, compelled to express my thoughts on this. Your defence of women’s rights and especially of their right to be heard is not in question, far from it. What I do find difficult to align with is the me too campaign, and this for two reasons. The first is that this history of abuse, harassment and assault is a fact of life for most women. In fact, there are very few who haven’t been subject to it, to a graver or lesser degree, by the time they’ve lived a couple of decades. I have experienced all three: abuse, harassment and assault. If the subject comes up in conversation with female friends — which is not often — I discover that there is a solidarity, a sisterhood of silent victims. But many of us consciously choose not to wear this on our sleeve. Not necessarily out of shame, but because that’s what we need to do in order to survive and move on. Dredging it back up, putting it out there for everyone to see, is not what works for our own personal path. So for every me too, there may be that many more silent voices who just don’t want to go there, out of self-preservation or fear or whatever.

Secondly, social media seems to be trending toward a sort of sensationalistic, boy-who-cried-wolf aura, one which facilitates both bandwagon-jumping and a false sense of implication. Typing the words me too, or for that matter sharing links, adding hashtags…what does that actually accomplish? It takes very little effort, and it seems that the only thing gained is a sense of —I don’t want to say smugness, but perhaps self-satisfaction — for having done one’s part. No. All you’ve done is sat at a keyboard and validated your appartenance to or your endorsement of an idea or a trend. And you’ve not reached beyond your own social circle of friends, who likely are already aligned with you anyway. Sorry, but it rings hollow. 

Earlier this year, I went and stood at the grave of the person who, decades ago now, sexually assaulted me and my sister overandoveragain, when I was just 7 and she was 5. I tried to find forgiveness. But most of all I wanted to show him the woman that I became, and the fact that he did not win. So yeah. Me too.